About Me

Who am I? If I was to wear the society labels I would be: a highly functioning girl boss, overachiever and perfectionist. In 2019, I was no longer highly functioning and found myself slipping from the overachiever I once was. I had brain mapping done and found that I in fact had been suffering from PTSD. Having PTSD caused me to have symptoms of depression, anxiety, body dysphoria, and addiction. Before the pandemic I would cope with life’s troubles by self medicating with drugs, alcohol, and shopping (Yes, shopping is an addiction). The dark honest truth was I didn’t want to live anymore. I felt like I had no propose. I was reading self help books and doing some work on myself here and there. I learned that the amount of effort you put in, had a direct result on the outcome. Therefore dabbling in working out and eating healthy didn’t lead to the physical shape and health that I wanted. Meditating durning a crisis only helped me self regulate in the moments after I was triggered. I was going to therapy but not being completely honest, so I wasn’t working through the trauma and as a result, stuck in a victim state of mind. Once I started to take care of myself 100%, I started to achieve post traumatic growth. Meditation has been scientifically proven to rewire your brain, so I started meditating. Meditation has helped me rewire my brain to see the intrusive thoughts for what they are and let them go. To be able to assess my actions before self destruction. After doing meditation twice a day for 6 weeks, I saw significant improvement. The healing process had started. What I have found is that the healing process is messy. First, you have to identify the problem and then tame it. With meditation, I found that I could get to the core of who I am by being still. My mind would race all the time. With meditation, I found my intuition and learned to trust it (Game changer). After seeing the results of meditation, I had to explore more on how to achieve greatness. I found that I needed to think positively. My default setting was believing in the worst case scenario. My trauma was making it difficult for me to control my emotions. I was angry, upset, fearful all the time. I decided to seek outside help to process my past traumas as well as new ones that pop up. This made my stone cold heart open up to love and tolerance. By removing the past trials and tribulations life threw at me, I replaced those emotions with gratitude, which helped me pause before reacting. I also needed to work on my overall health. I wasn’t happy with the way my body looked and how I was feeling. I was sick all the time from stress. I would yo-yo from overweight to underweight consistently based on how I was handling stress. I would have weeks of binge eating and not getting out of bed, to days that I would not eat or just have a protein shake while walking on average 7 miles a day. I decided to get a personal trainer to help keep me accountable with my workouts and meal prep. I have ritualized my morning and evening to include meditation, working out, self reflection, and building on a skill to achieve a life beyond my wildest dreams.